Matthew 4:1-11
Shortly after I was laid off from my position as associate pastor several years ago I visited the Franciscan Renewal Center in the middle of the desert in Arizona for a spiritual retreat. This retreat center was built so that people could be apart from the world in a desert place so that they could connect with God in the sand, cactus and quiet of this center. Inspired by the many wilderness stories of the Bible and knowing that career wise I was in the wilderness, the first morning I was at the center I decided to take a walk away from the main buildings and go deep into the desert walkways in hopes of connecting with God in the midst of the wilderness. Now the wilderness of the retreat center was a very controlled setting because a fence was built around the perimeter of the property. I knew that if I got lost all I had to do was walk towards the fence and it would guide me back to the main buildings. But this did not keep me from becoming anxious as I walked deeper and deeper into the desert. You see, the further I walked away from the main buildings, the quieter my surroundings became. The chattering voices, the music in the background, the footsteps of other people dissipated until all I could hear was the sound of my own breathing and the pounding of my heart beat. I could literally hear the hum of my own electricity.
It was then that I got really scared, not because I thought I was going to get lost, not because I thought I was going to get physically harmed. No I became scared because in the middle of the desert I was completely and utterly alone. Without the distractions of computers, cell phones, tvs, background noise and other people, I was in a place where I had to finally face my inner demons. My first inclination was to run.
Today’s gospel takes place after Jesus’ baptism in the murky waters of the river Jordon and before his public ministry. We remember that at his baptism the spirit of God descended upon Jesus in the form of a dove and that he heard God’s voice from heaven said, “This is my son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased.” (3:17) And what was the first thing that Jesus did after this mind blowing event? He followed the Holy Spirit into the wilderness. In her sermon “The Wilderness Exam”, Barbara Brown Taylor says that Jesus went from that “one spectacular moment to a long, lonely time in the wilderness, during which he may have wondered if he had imagined the whole thing. For forty days and forty nights there was no sign of God at all. The sky stayed shut. There were no doves. No voice from heaven spoke reassuring words. There was just him, the desert, and finally the devil.” (1)
In the middle of the desert without my cell phone, without my computer, without even my mp3 player, I was unable to drown out the voice of my inner demons. That devilish voice that plays on my insecurities, those old tapes that play in my head telling me that I’m not lovable, that I’m not worthy, that the jig is up, who do I think I am. Then the devilish voice would become relentless by playing on my greatest fears telling me that I was going to end up destitute going down the path I’m going. That ministry was not a financially feasible career for me to continue. This devilish voice was tempting me to sell out on my call to ministry in exchange for a job that would give me financial security. Maybe if I gave up on my pipedream of being a woman of faith working toward social justice, maybe just maybe I’d finally be able control of my today, tomorrow and the day after that.
Forty days into his retreat, starved, thirsty, unable to stand up on his own two feet, Jesus meets an amazingly biblically literate devil in the desert. Just an aside from Barbara Brown Taylor, “Just because someone knows the Bible chapter and verse does not necessarily mean that this person is up to any good.” (2) But I digress. Sensing Jesus’ vulnerability the devil tempts Jesus with nourishment, “If you are the son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.” (4:3) Some note that the devil trying to tempt Jesus into using his miraculous power for feeding himself rather than trusting God to satisfy his need. Jesus sees through this deception and replies quoting scripture “It is written, ‘One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” (4:4) Jesus is telling the devil was that he will not abuse his God given power of performing miracles for his own personal gain. (3)
But the devil doesn’t give up as he continues his relentless pursuit to tempt Jesus. He takes Jesus to the pinnacle of the temple and says to him, “If you are the son of God, throw yourself down; for it is written” (remember this devil knows his bible) “for it is written ‘he will not command his angels concerning you’ and ‘On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.’” (4:6) The devil tempts Jesus to use his powers to meet test God and he uses scripture (out of context mind you) to prove that God agrees. However Jesus refutes the devil by bringing this scripture back into context, “Again it is written, ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test’” (4:7) Some note that in this verse Jesus is telling the devil that scripture does not endorse the testing God’s protective grace for the sake of self-assurance. Jesus will not misuse his God given power to test God. (4)
Then the devil tries to seduce Jesus with something many people of this world crave, the ability to have control over all the kingdoms and the splendor of the world. “’All these I will give you, if you fall down and worship me.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘Away with you Satan! For it is written, ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve only him’” (4:10) Jesus refuses to ally himself with the devil for control over the world and most especially control over his own destiny. Jesus refuses to misuse his power to build up influence and domination.(5) “Then the devil left him and suddenly angels came and waited on him.” (4:11)
In the desert I encountered a similar pressure from the devil suggesting that I deserved better than what God was giving me. In her sermon Barbara Brown Taylor states that we Christians are sometimes tempted to believe “that we deserve bigger and better than what we have. That the devilish voice in our heads says things like, ‘If you are a child of God, should things be going a bit smoother for you? If you are really a Christian, I mean-shouldn’t you be happier, healthier, richer, safer.” (6) More self actualized and self confident. She goes on, “You know what to say back now, right? ‘Away with you Satan, I would rather be a hungry child of God than a well-fed player on your team.” (7) So in the middle of the desert, in the midst of sand, cactus and deafening silence I was able to say “Away with you Satan, Away with your taunts of emotional in-security, Away with your seduction for me to sell out on my call, Away with your shame! I am a beloved Child of God, a woman called to serve in ministry and you will not make me misuse or even me dis-use my God given gifts for ministry.” And it was then that I could finally hear the small still voice of God say, “Well done good and faithful servant…in you I am well pleased.”
May it be so. Amen.
(1) Barbara Brown Taylor “The Wilderness Exam” Bread of Angels (Cambridge, Mass: Cowley Publications, 1997.), 38.
(2) Barbara Brown Taylor “Remaining Human” Christian Century February 7-14, 1996. 127.
(3) Robert Bryant, “Matthew 4: 1-11 – Exegetical Perspective” Feasting on the Word, Preaching the Revised Common Lectionary Year A, Vol. 2 (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2010), 48.
(4) Ibid., 49.
(5) Ibid., 49.
(6) Taylor, “Wilderness Exam”, 40
(7) Ibid., 40.
1 comment:
VERY nice indeed! Thank you!
Post a Comment