Feelings

I've been struggling with my feelings. I am the midst of a tough transition and the feelings of grief, anger and sadness overwhelm me. I saw my counselor today and she normalized what I was going through. That anyone in my situation would be feeling as crappy as I do right now. The problem is that I get angry at myself for feeling the way I do right now. For some reason I think I"m just supposed to suck it up and accept the situation and move on. Although I can't move on....The only way to get over my situation is to get through it.

My new theme song "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus

Umm...I think I already knew that.

But it is nice to be affirmed.

I took the Spiritual Gifts test here: http://www.christianet.com/bible/spiritualgiftstest.htm ,



89% Teacher
89% Pastor
89% Leadership

These gifts exceed the normal ability level of an individual that may come through life experience or knowledge. In fact many refer to these gifts as a "supernatural ability" vs. "natural ability" that a person may posses.Everyone has God-given talents, but He also bestows supernatural abilities to those believers who will give themselves over to His Spirit. These individuals are used for ministry in His Kingdom to help members of the body of Christ. They are also used to extend the church’s witness and ministry into the world.

Happy Anniversary

Wow, one year of ordained ministry, it has gone by so fast. I look back on this year with all it's ups and downs and for the most part it has been a good year. Ministry is hard and easy. It is paradoxical in a lot of ways. Out of all the jobs that I have done in my life this is the work that has given me the most joy and yet this is the work that has broken my heart the most. I feel so privileged that God chose me to do God's work as an ordained minister. The song that keeps going through my head as I reflect on my year in ministry is the cantical of the turning. It is inspired by Mary's Magnificat which was the scripture that my ordination liturgy centered on.

My soul cries out with a joyful shout that the God of my heart is great,
And my spirit sings of the wondrous things that you bring to the ones who wait.
You fixed your sight on the servant's plight, and my weakness you did not spurn,
So from east to west shall my name be blest. Could the world be about to turn?

Refrain: My heart shall sing of the day you bring.
Let the fires of you justice burn.
Wipe away all the tears,
For the dawn draw near,
And the world is about to turn.

Though I am small, my God, my all, you work great things in me,
And your mercy will last from the depths of the past to the end of the age to be.
Your very name puts the proud to shame, and to those who would for you yearn,
You will show your might, put the strong to flight, for the world is about to turn.

Refrain

From the halls of power to the fortress tower, not a stone will be left on stone. Let the king beware for your justice tears ev'ry tyrant from his throne.
The hungry poor shall weep no more, for the food they can never earn;
These are tables spread, ev'ry mouth be fed, for the world is about to turn.

Refrain

Though the nations rage from age to age, we remember who holds us fast:
God's mercy must deliver us from the conqueror's crushing grasp.
This saving word that our forebears heard is the promise which holds us bound,
'Til the spear and rod can be crushed by God, who is turning the world around.

Refrain