Opportunity Update: They went in a different direction

Well, someone with more experience got the position. Back to the drawing board.

Prayers appreciated.

Rest in Peace Michael

I feel strangely sad this morning as news reports continuously stream across my TV and my computer of Michael Jackson's death. He is an icon for people of my generation. In high school my friends and I had the album Thriller and played it at every party. Several of us learned how to moon walk so we could dance like him.

Yes he was a troubled man, he made a lot of mistakes, his actions have hurt a lot of people including himself. However today I'd like to remember the Michael whose gifts made us so happy as teenagers and even into adulthood. When I was going through a really tough time in my life, I had a copy of the video "Black or White" and watched it over and over again because it gave me inspiration to keep going. Click here to see it.

New opportunties

I had a really good interview yesterday for an interim position close to home. It's a short assignment, only 6 months however it would fit with my future plans of searching for a settled position. Keep me in your prayers. It is good to focus on the future rather than ruminate on the past.

Happy 85th post

Just got back from visiting my hometown. It was a blast and indeed it refreshed me. It was good to be with people who love me just for who I am rather than for what I do. Part of my fun was a RevGalBlogPal meet up with Diane.

Now it's back to the grind, working my part time job and looking for a settled pastorate which in itself is a full time job. Boy am I tired. Perhaps a cup of coffee would be a good idea, however is this cup big enough???

We're women, We're Ministers...GET USED TO IT.

A grave injustice has been committed by a butthead in a big hat. My sister in ministry has been obstructed from ordination and boy am I mad. I'm warming up the Texas Town Car of Justice so I can come down there and open up a can of whoop a**. Watch Bishop Butthead cuz God_guurrlll is coming to your town.

It is done...

It has been forever and a day since I last blogged. The unbloggable situation that I was unable to write about was my AP position being eliminated from the church budget. I've done a good job, the congregation appreciated my ministry whereas Senior Pastor was very critical of my ministry. I realize that it was more out of a sense of insecurity on his part.

These last few months have been hell. Since the announcement was made three months ago that my ministry will be ending it has been the long goodbye. Hearing from congregants how much they love me and loved my ministry and that they will miss me so much. I had no idea that an AP could have so much impact on the ministry of the church.

The hardest part was being graceful as I left. I wanted to shout from the rooftops how unfairly I was treated, especially by the SP and by the church leadership as we negotiated my severance package, but I knew in the end that it would only make me look bad if I vented my frustration in the end. Instead I validated the feelings of grief that were present, I wrote a very gracious letter of resignation and final article by the AP in the newsletter that told them how much they meant to me and I preached a final sermon that affirmed that my particular ministry will go on even if I am not leading it. Boy am I exhausted.

I am on vacation at my hometown now. Yesterday I had lunch with my mom and she asked me what are you going to do tomorrow (Sunday morning). And I said, "Well Mom, I'm an out of work pastor so the last place I'd wanna be on a Sunday morning is at church. Perhaps I should go to a casino and drink and watch strippers. You wanna come with." She laughed and said that I really can't afford to go to a casino right now." So instead I am sitting in one of my haunts, a coffee house I used to hang out in when I lived here.

I wonder what the future will bring for me. I miss being a pastor, I miss my people, I miss the rough and tumble of ministry. I can't wait to step up to a pulpit again. I am scared to death, scared I won't get a call because I've only served one pastorate which ended abruptly, scared because I am a woman with a female partner and there are a number of churches who wouldn't want to hire someone of my sexual orientation.

In these last few months I have been blessed with so much support, both online and face to face. I've also been blessed with savings and temporary job opportunities to carry me through this transition. In a way this feels like a sabbatical to recharge and perhaps reorient.

Oh God, I'm standing in the need of your strength. Pour your love and healing touch upon me. Heal my broken heart. Give me the strength to hope again.