Friday Five

This week's Friday Five was so intriguing, I just have to participate.

Sally writes:

"I have recently been reading a book entitled Jesus wept, it is all about vulnerability in leadership. The authors speak of how Jesus shared his earthly frustrations and vulnerabilities with a select group of people. To some he was the charismatic leader and teacher, to others words of wisdom were opened and explained and some frustrations shared, to his "inner circle of friends: Peter, James and John, he was most fully himself, and in all of these things he was open to God.So I bring you this weeks Friday 5:"

1. Is vulnerability something that comes easily to you, or are you a private person?

I used to be a let it all hang out, let everyone know my business kind of person but as I grow older I am a lot more private. I've found that sharing too much can be harmful but I wonder if I've gone to the other extreme in being too private.

I find that I can be most vulnerable with animals. Anything on four legs is my best friend. However my housecat has problems being fully present with me. I try to talk to my cat but she is not good with intense emotions so if I'm crying or very angry I have to find support from another four legged friend. While I was in seminary there was a neighbor cat who would hang out in my yard and was always available to listen to me when I was troubled. I know it's weird to share all my secrets with a neighbor cat but he was a good listener and great at keeping confidences. When I moved out of state, it was tough to say goodbye to him.

My Former Confessor

2.How important is it to keep up a professional persona in work/ ministry?

In my professional life as a minister I am very very private. I feel that I am there to care for them, they are not called to take care of me. I find my sources of support outside of my congregation. In my preaching I will share a struggle that I've wrestled with in the past and have resolved.

3. Masks, a form of self protection discuss...

Yes, I do believe that we need masks in order to protect ourselves and to be effective in our ministries. As a minister I have to be careful about how I treat people and what I say. If I am having a bad day I will not take it out on the people I am working with. Working as a chaplain at a trauma one hospital (just like the show ER) I learned how to appear calm in stressful situations and process after these situations. Neighbor Kitty was especially helpful in the processing because when I'd come home in the morning (I was overnight on-call) he'd always be in my yard waiting for me to talk to him.

Keeping a calm persona has worked well in the parish in that when I encounter a situation that frustrates me or makes me anxious, I am able to remain calm and not be reactive. I do my venting with poeple outside my parish, usually with a friend who lives out of state, my mentor or my partner. Then when I address the issues directly , I am able to do so in a calm manner so as to not blast the other person out of the water as we discuss the issue.


4. Who knows you warts and all?


My partner, my cat, my best friend of 25 + years, my mentor, my spiritual director, my old next door neighbor cat, my revgal pals on the Internet.


5. Share a book, a prayer, a piece of music, a poem or a person that touches the deep place in your soul, and calls you to be who you are most authentically.

I would have to say my partner of 14 years. I am so blessed to have her in my life and I thank God for everyday we are together. She is the one person that I can share everything with.